**This blog comes after I practiced sitting, holding space, and following the messages brought to me. The message was a video by Kyle Cease, What’s My Pain Trying To Show Me.

Sit, Hold Space & Listen

How many times do we think we’re working on our self, but nothing is changing? If we think about it and are honest, we know we’re on track of something going on that needs to be released. However, we revert back to the old thinking to find the solution and get on with it. That’s the point when we realize our answers are not going to be whispered to us. We need to do that old school thing of sitting in it as the true feelings fall open.

As I’ve heard my guru tell me many times, you will receive those messages that help you when it’s time. Because the most important step is to sit with and allow all the pain to come up, she reminds me about this to allow the pain to come to the surface. Now comes the time of sitting in it. Not to resolve it, but to hold space for the person you were at the age when those pains first hurt.

Practice Sitting with the Pain

When we sit in our pain, it is a time to allow things that hurt us to show up. These might be triggered by a feeling of being shamed as an adult, which takes us back in time to that little girl. Maybe as a little girl we experienced someone yelling at us. By sitting in it, we don’t relive the circumstance. However, we look back at how we felt, who was around, and what was happening at that moment.

Noticing that we were a youngster at the time of the scare can help us realize that it put a scare on our soul. Because we aren’t aware that we needed to talk it out at that age, we ended up moving through our journey with our collected pain stored in our bag. 

Holding Space for Comfort

Holding space for someone is a phrase we hear more today. By holding space for someone, we are leaving a part of our heart opened for the soul acting against us. Sometimes they return to fill that part and sometimes they don’t. We have to remember that it is their choice and not ours. If and when they return, we have the choice to hear them out, tell our part, and accept or decline their apology. There also may not be an apology presented. This is the time we leave this part of our heart opened for them with love and forgiveness. In the mean time, we move on with our life down the path of our passion.

Message Received

After I sat in my pain, I received an email with another video from Kyle Cease from one of his Weekly Live Events during a session. There it was. It was the whisper from my angels that I’ve sat long enough and now it’s time to listen and learn. In his video, What’s My Pain Trying To Show Me, he speaks about how shame is allowed to be seen. The client responds that it’s a vulnerable feeling. Instantly, my world seems to halt as I listen further to something that sounds very familiar.

During Kyle’s event, a client spoke about her physical pain from a car accident as well as the pains we experience from growing older. I love how she described her pain like an onion. Many of us have headaches that when removed have muscle tension underneath.

As Kyle stepped in to ask if she felt unseen or felt the situation was unfair, she agreed and it seemed to open up her box of her inner child. I love how she agreed and mentioned that she had tried everything to find a solution to the pain. First, she practiced meditation techniques to surrender it, alchemize it, and transform it. Next, she tried to integrate it, shine light on it, and love it. Lastly, she tried to hold space for it, but nothing would help it go away.

Our Feelings Transform Us

If we think about it, we can’t actually transform things ourselves. What is helpful is that we sit with the thought of the pain. Doing this lets the feelings come forward. As the client sat in it, he asked her if this brought on feelings of being unseen or feeling the situation as unfair. Surprisingly, he had her sit with those feelings brought out. He reminded us that as we sit with the feelings, we are showing our body that we care. We show we care as we sit there instead of running off to locate a solution.

Love Your Inner Child

His remarkable statement was, “As an escape to a solution, there’s an inner child who feels this is unfair.” Once the client recalled feelings of doing all the work but not receiving a break, she spoke about her need to serve others. After all, we understand we are here to do just that. However, she was thrown into an ah-ha moment. Kyle said, “the desire to serve is getting in the way of how you feel right now.” What was happening was she was using her work to serve others as the solution not to feel those pains. 

Sometimes we’re the unseen little one feeling that things are unfair. But as soon as that comes up, we rush off to a solution instead of sitting in the feelings. Be there for the feeling of unfair, don’t leave it. Once the client sat in that space, she felt hope. She saw a new thought pattern. Awareness can come as tears when being there with those feelings. Sometimes these physical pains are repressed feelings coming out. There becomes an opening to feel these and cry them out. 

Seek Your Own Approval

The next question used broke everything wide open. Kyle Cease asked his client that if she took away the future of work and the ability to seek a solution while only leaving emotions, what would she feel?  Sometimes at this point, some of us might feel a lack of worth. It was interesting that at that point, she began to follow the pain of her inner child. She tracked it to shame from her parents and not her unworthiness.

Because they didn’t agree with her values in life, they put their own values onto her. This made her seek out their approval. Like most of us, we know who we are, but find that others around us don’t value it. Sometimes it can all be about getting your parents’ approval. In addition, she would be shamed by her parents.

Allow Shame as a Solution

At this remarkable moment, Kyle stated that she wasn’t chasing approval of her parents but running from shame she felt as a child. It turned out that the client was moving into service in order to not feel the shame from the past. By simply telling her body that it was ok to feel shame, it opened her up to see the real physical pain. In fact, it coming from the shame of the past. Before, she was using her service to cover up those feelings when they came up. As she opened up to two feelings that had been buried in her body since a very young age, she allowed them to exist in her body.

There’s always that moment when there is a special light put on a situation we’re trying to work out. Kyle’s light for his client was, “What would it be like if you stopped carrying the resistance to your childhood patterns? What would happen? It wouldn’t hurt.” I believe that’s music to all ears. The client said she asked herself many times about the meaning of the pain. She knew there was something behind it, but couldn’t see the light of it until Kyle put light on it. He stated that some past spiritual healing books and teachings that served a time before helped in our expansion. Sometimes we feel that if a book worked years ago, it will do the same thing in the place we are now. This is where vulnerability made its appearance for the client.

Vulnerability is Key

“Vulnerable means being free, because the opposite is being stuck or hidden.” When we look up vulnerability, it means the willingness to show emotion or allowing one’s weakness to be seen and known. Kyle reminds us, “By allowing vulnerability into our life, we become unstuck. Life is grateful that we learn, but wants us to seek out different methods of the time to use now. New things are available for us like sitting with our feelings and allowing our body to accept that these feelings exist.”

Showing vulnerability is offering something to others & letting you see it too. “It is stuff that you were running from looking at yourself. And if you show it to the world and say I have this thing, I see it and in turn you see it which means that the energy was in your body as dark and now is light.”

Our Gift of Being Enough

Kyle concluded by stating that many want to get their story out & do their work to serve. In the meanwhile, we are overlooking the feelings and burying their shame wondering why they have consistent pain. “Be in service, but not out of fear of not-enoughness.” At this point he offered the client to say to her body, “You are allowed to feel unsettled in my body.” This helped her feel present and at her true-self. “You experienced something when you were a kid and it was too big for your little girl’s body to handle this thing that’s so big.

When our parents yell at us and we’re 4, and a giant monster is mad at us, our body doesn’t know how to comprehend it. So then we grow up and it goes do everything we can to avoid that again but it doesn’t get that I’m not the 4 yr old. So you create this space for all these patterns that no longer serve to be purged. What a gift.”

Share with Those Who Care

How many of us use our work and look to the future for the solution instead of sitting with the pain? It’s time to notice the shame we’re running from and face it head on. Once we realize that we are abandoning our inner child, we practice holding space for that moment in time. While we do that we show our past self all the love it deserves. When working with our shame, be sure to only share with those that will be there for you. In Brene Brown’s video, 6 Types of People Who Do Not Deserve to Hear Your Shame Story, it helps us work with our shame and those feelings by selecting only true friends along the ride.

Kyle Cease truly has a gift and helps many of us each day to find those feelings and help us to release them so we can live pain free. He helps us find our vulnerability and reminds us to show it every chance we get.