Overcoming Struggles at the Holidays
It is said, “If God brings you to it he’ll bring you through it.” We all go through something. These past Christmas’ were my time. The few Christmas’ before my father’s death, I was unsure where he was.
Was he still in the hospital or at his family’s home? As my heart had to stand the pain of not knowing and wanting to say, “Merry Christmas & I love you, Dad,” I had to practice what I preached by praying and visualizing being with him and saying those words. I also practiced the words, ‘I will not stress over the things I can’t control.’
Understanding My Grief
Even after his death, I didn’t have the information of his ashes’ whereabouts. Yes, I knew he was finally in Heaven with his parents, sisters, and grandchildren, yet my fresh heart that was missing him wanted to place his first Christmas wreath at his resting place last year. I knew he had no more pain and he was my new angel looking over my family; however it felt like this time of grief was some sort of test. Then another quote immediately entered my mind. You may not be able to control every situation or its outcome, but you can control your attitude and how you deal with it.
When we are going through these tough times, we ask ourselves many times why we have to endure such stress. Although I asked many times, I didn’t find out where his ashes were until now, just a few weeks before Christmas. As I think back to how I felt and what it all meant, it finally made sense. It was my test. How do you miss saying goodbye when it’s out of your hands and what do you do with all the hurt and pain? How do you go through your daily activities with this pain in your heart? I found out it is possible with faith, but very difficult.
Passing Your Test
It occurred to me, sometimes when we are going through something hard and wonder where God is, we need to remember that the teacher is always quiet during the test. The silence I went through wasn’t a negative aspect but a positive one. In this special time of shining and polishing up of all my aspects of my heart and will, I realized it was my test. Through the tears and pain, I know he is looking down on me with his special wink. Where his ashes are is not important, because he’s not there. He’s in my heart and watching over my family. So to those of you feeling the pain of your struggles during this holiday season let me offer up my testing outcome. Remind yourself to look for the aspects that you need to polish to become the brightest light shining to help others. Hoping this helps you find comfort during your struggle.
